I recently was at a nanny conference in Philadelphia, where
one of the most common questions was how to approach your
boss with a problem. My advice: Pick your moments! Though
your instinct may be to vent about the children’s behavior as
soon as Mom or Dad comes through the door, don’t. Parents
are much more receptive if you wait until the right time.
Be aware that when the parents get home, they may not have
had a particularly good day either. Gauge their mood to see if
it is a good time to approach them. Keep notes of what is
bothering you so you don’t forget. There’s no point having a
sit-down if you don’t clear the air completely.
If the parents disagree with you, think about your values and
whether this is the situation you want. As a nanny, you spend
all day teaching children about right and wrong and the
boundaries they need to observe. If the parents aren’t backing
you up I would question how much they value your service.
I recommend that parents and caregivers have regular
meetings to discuss the children before things come to a
breaking point. And parents, remember: Don’t underestimate
the importance of your child-care provider. Give her the
respect she deserves and teach your children to do the same,
whether you are home or not.
Q "I am a nanny in the Boston area and want to know
how to discipline the children I take care of when their
parents are home. The two children openly defy me when
their mom or dad come home from work or are at home
for a day. It is making me uncomfortable."
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A Whether or not the parents are home, you need the respect
of the children to do your job. I would carry on with discipline
as you normally do; if this disturbs the parents, talk to them
about it. The more you ignore the situation the worse it will
get, and no one wins.