Q "I have some friends that could use your help. They are
constantly blaming their children for things that go wrong
in the home when it is clearly their fault. They are totally in
denial and won’t listen when we tell them they are being
bad parents rather than have bad children."
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A I am often criticized for blaming parents for their child’s
behavior, but where do you think that they are learning from?
Mothers and Fathers are the primary role models for their
children and what you put in is what you get out, I have met
many adults that are completely in denial about the effect
their behavior has in the household.
It is easier to take a cautious approach with parents who are
in denial and rather than doing anything drastic, I would
recommend a parent coach to start with. Before the coach
goes any further they will need some background so a
telephone call to give some information will be needed. It is
really important to see where everyone is coming from and
their perspective on the situation. The coach will go to the
home and see everyone in the family setting where they will
be more relaxed, or should be! That way it is easier to make a
better plan of action after the coach see the dynamics that go
on in the household.
You will find that the parent coach will never judge or take
sides but rather offer individual solutions to help in the
smooth running of the household
Be careful who you choose! I recently went online to find out
about a parent coach on the West coach for a client and
rather a funny story happened. I emailed a lady who had
excellent credentials and had also written a book on parent
coaching. I wrote an email introducing myself and the fact
that we are parent coaches on Nanny 911 and that I was
looking for some more information on her program.
I was shocked when I got her reply! She was supposed to
forward my email to a colleague but instead hit reply. After
calling me a leach and a thief and all sorts of insults she
clearly did not find out who I was and what I was looking for.
After confronting her in another email she then proceeded to
blame a secretary for writing the disparaging remarks about
me! I had to smile, to find out what someone is really
thinking or really like is priceless!