Q "I am a single dad, my 2 children stay with me most
weekends but all they seem to want to do is play computer
games. We never spend time in the same room. It was not
my fault the marriage broke up but they are taking it out
on me. How do I make my time with them a happy one?"
|
A The simple answer is to take their computer games away
and spend quality time with them. In my experience, when
asking kids what they want most they say they want to spend
more time with their parents. You have the time so make it
count. Don’t dwell on the marriage breakup and don’t waste
time being negative about you ex-spouse, think of fun things
to do with the kids. Have you asked them what they would
like to do? Their answer would probably be to play computer
games and sit on the couch but you are the adult and must
take the lead. Use your imagination; what did you like to do
with your Father or what would you have liked to have done?
How about a simple trip to the playground for a game of
football, soccer or softball? Girls as well as boys enjoy a
friendly match against dad. While the weather is nice why not
try going on a harbor cruise, they are relatively inexpensive.
Have you heard of the hologram museum located at MIT? I
bet they would love that! Try to get them out and away from
the couch, television and computer games so you can really
enjoy the time together. There are many resources on the
internet; www.boston.com has a link to fun things to with the
kids in and around the area.
You need to communicate with them now and find out what
makes them tick. Putting the time and effort in will benefit
your relationship later. Get together with relatives and
extended family, it is important to have a relationship with
them also. Try to be involved as much as you can with school
activities as well, it show’s you care. Hopefully, you can
communicate civilly with your ex-spouse for the children’s
sake, their well being should be your primary concern.